Good day readers!
I’m back again, like always, and I have gotten an update for you all. So, over the past six months, I’ve done some real growing and thinking and now it’s safe to say that I feel I’m ready to take this blog as well as everything that concerns my life seriously. Also, I have grown to understand where I stand and what I want from myself and others. The year is ending finally and I have gone through a lot of issues and problems and I have also gone through an equal number of good times with people around me and I really would like to thank God that I’m here to see the end of this year.
Besides the fact that I have grown to understand things more clearly, I have also been working on a number of things lately ranging from writing to art and over the next few posts on here, I would like to address these certain things I have been working on for the past four to six months. One of these projects includes writing a “Feelings journal” which are a number of written snippets of writings projecting my state of mind. I started this one mainly to get my feelings in check because bottling them all up would usually get me depressed or just sad in general and when I get sad I think and when I overthink, I get scared.
I hope all of your have a good day or night, (whichever is more suitable). And I hope that I will have the ability to post here more because I would love to hear from you all again.
From your favorite Blogger,
Always back at it again,
OR whatever you called your hunched over, asp bitten, dirt smitten self.
I request that you let my comrade, dreams, go.
She ponders at night wondering if your painful gaze would ever stop engraving her back,
She wonders when your lashes will even pause for she is at the verge of paralysis,
She cries, thinking that your venomous hands would molest her very being again,
She wails, expecting you to throw you insults all over again like shurikens from an eager howitzer,
She strives endlessly to move out from your imprisonment every single moment of her exsistence,
But it seems that you’ve kept her under you firm surveillance.
So I come and beg on behalf of my comrade in pain,
Please let her go
To see the light of hope again?
I was running. Running away from what seemed to be my doom. A deep black darkness ran behind me, hoping to catch up with me and engulf me, to consume me, to make me disappear. I strove on in my running. My legs accelerated but it seemed to be a failed effort. The darkness moved closer. The area was deserted, a vast plain of heat and unforgiving, barren land. I was incapable of making my escape or even conceal myself from this impending doom. I concluded that I was done for. For what reason should I make endeavours to run away from this antagonist, this inescapable, inevitable evil while it effortlessly moves and engulfs the present scene? To think being totally immersed in the peach black darkness. I stopped, willing to succumb to what was coming for me, then it disappears.
I wake up with cold sweats trickling down my face and onto my neck and bare shoulders. The room was filled with darkness. The window was able to give off a dark blue light that was able to only illuminate the white bedsheets, at least to the extent that I was able to deduce it’s states. The bedsheets were full of creases and unnatural wrinkles. The edges of the bed sheet were untucked and flowed alongside the occasional gusts of the barely cool wind. There were the momentary blasts of the grasshoppers’ usual noises, forcing the fear of sleeping into me. My eyes were heavy, my right arm propped my torso upwards while my left hand grasped my head, hoping that an understanding may come up as I try to understand the event that had just occurred.
It feels like a century since I’ve been here. I realised that it was time for me to feel the warm embrace of literary inspiration and the expression of personal views and imagination.
However, my most recent WIP was rather problematic in the sense that I didn’t know how to continue or how to connect the various cuts of plots I have down in my mind. So I want to use this post to ask how I can continue or if I should continue at all.
Hope you like the opening paragraphs!
From me to you,
“I feel overwhelmed. my feelings, enigmatic. I lack the beautiful flow of lexicon that befittingly explains my emotion or there I say, my lack of it. The brave words that protrude seamlessly out of my mother’s mouth left me frozen in the blizzard of my own confusion, my desert of emotion, my inability to conceive conceptual views relating to the matter.
“Grandfather had passed on earlier this morning in his vineyard.he refused to acquire medical aid due to his fondness to his occupation and his lack of any negative symptoms.”” Be happy my child. Death is the ultimate battle everyone is bound to loose.” she said, endeavouring in uplifting my spirits with a poor choice of words.”
“I could feel the sand’s warmth on my body. It felt so good. So incredible.” the old village treasurer would go on, reminiscing and evangelising about the days of his youth and the times that he would lay on the warm, sandy beaches of numerous areas. He seemed to be an empty, but curious traveler back when his aching back scavenging couldn’t stop him from stowing away in ships and at some point, trains just to feel the warmth other parts of the world that beckoned on him, continuously. Some of us would even wonder how he could have even navigated his way back into our small village, hidden amongst the thick trees and encompassing snow of the reoccurring winter times.
His stories were amazing. he would regale us on the times he visited the people of other continents and their ways of entertaining and accepting him. Sometimes, he would even tell us of his romantic endeavours and interests and how they were only ” failed attempts in trying to appease the opposite sex”; hence, making him and unmarried even at his old age. However, villagers could not deny the fact that he was still an active romeo scavenging for his Juliet up and around the village. He would meet all the widows and all the unmarried older female folk of the village just to get the time of day but they would not give it to him anyways. Older women would either be rejecting him based on the fact that their husband should be regarded as an entity in their life and they shall love no other the same way they loved their dead husbands or they would just say no. Just a simple, death inducing NO. His gesticulations, his witty statements and his constant wooing of women so he can fill up his sad, but rather humorous void would fail. The women would say he’s too spontaneous and too free willed. the would focus on his inability to act like other older men in the village and be mature. His life was a one that the older women would make fun of or one that grandparents would tell their grandchildren not to have. Life was perfect. Not for him but it was anyways. Just perfect.
Aside from his stories, children would play from the break of dawn till the opening of dusk. Men with thick beards would walk into the darkness the trees had created and came back sometime later with just the right amount of firewood that would be sold at a reasonable price, or at least a price that I knew was adequate. I did not even know why people would argue over the price while the remainder of the community; a rather large population, was fine with it…
So I have been practing on my portraiture and it seems that I’ve gotten the hang of it. Although, it is hard sometimes to get specific shades and it takes longer than regular portraiture sessions would actually take. I’m still working on the mediums and methods of shades I will employ when doing this.
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord , thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
Jeremiah 29:11 KJV
As a modern Christian, I feel it is rather saddening to see the state of individuals everywhere. The overall percentage of daily deaths have further increased, people are becoming more devious and senile when it comes to acting or being a person of good virtue, trust has fallen, people have become more hostile towards each other, life is harder, people are selfish and condescending, there are numerous ways by which evil could creep up silently behind us, and jump into our hearts and infuse itself into our thoughts making them condemned synapses and memories in our head. Even Christians loose faith. Their spirits bend and deteriorate into the silent sayings and persuasions of a small demon that walks beside us all, causing us to be submissive to the will and cause of evil. Despite the fact that we now experience newer ways and ideologies that would aid in our understanding and ministration of the Lord’s word, it isn’t just put into work or even used. All these things that we experience and loathe are the sins of the end times. Some scientists may say that the end of the earth would occur when the sun is ready to die, but other speculators suggest that it may happen in various ways unknown to us at the moment. From the looks of it, the end of the world as well as the total annihilation of the human race is unknown. The only things indicating the signs of this event as well as it occurring soon are available in the bible; the book of Revelations. I am not typing this because I want to tell you that the end is coming neither am I here to explain to you the process that may occur. I am present to tell you to take patronage in God. God cares not for your age, race, look, orientation, understanding or even anything that would make up a basic individual. He just needs you as yourself, he has loved us from the beginning of our lives on earth and he will love us till we die. The only problem we face is just that people do not give their lives to Christ, causing them to live a live of destitution and anguish. We should be able to give our lives to Christ as early as possible so God’s love may radiate perfectly and flawlessly in our live. God loves us and it would be rather unfair for us to not give Him love back. Loving God should never be a one way thing, it should always be symbiotic. Being a child of God does not always mean that one will live a life of excessive physical holiness and having yourself wear excessive clothing with the bible always in your palm so people would say “Ohh, he/she is a great Christian.” If we give our lives to Christ our behaviour changes in a way that we as people will understand what God needs from us and what we need from him.
With God all our problems are solved and all our wants are satisfied. I hope after this you will understand what God wants and your eyes would be open to everything occurring presently in your surroundings.
Love and Peace,
May the Lord be with you,
See you another day,